A heart of desperation
When I prayed to God to save my oldest daughter and her baby boy on the way… I prayed from a place of desperation from my soul, I remember begging and begging and begging God. I’m the on the way to Lubbock praying and praying (I think my angels wren driving…because I barely remember the drive) knowing that her life was in God’s hands…. I cried tears from a well of fear deep within me. She and her husband are in the hospital, it is six weeks before the baby’s due date, and my daughter has pre-eclampysia. It was an incredibly scary night, we almost lost both my daughter and her baby, and fear was a constant companion driving my every thought.
I cried tears from a well of fear deep within me
A daughter listens….
My mom told me that night that I didn’t have to beg God because I was His daughter. Say what????? I am the daughter of a king and royalty… Ok, I didn’t even know what to think about that. I know we are children of God, but she is speaking with this authority that the daughter in me responds to even though I don’t know why she has this new way of walking. I trusted her and the changes within her but I was so scared!!!!
My mom told me that night that I didn’t have to beg God
because I was His daughter.
Baby steps
That night I prayed in the spirit and prayed begging God. I also repeated the prayed the prayers my mom prayed. God met me where I was at… He wasn’t judging my fear or my prayers of begging for my family. I did go back to my mom later and I asked her to teach me how to pray so different than how we have been taught. I watched as God Saved my daughter and her son… and celebrated each victory! I watched as week after week I had to bring new prayers to God for my grandson Oliver and my daughter, Celeste. I watched as each prayer was answered.
Introduction to my tribe…
Each week more news: some good and many days and weeks were filled with not so good news about Oliver. Sometimes, I still asked how to pray and sometime my faith was stretched because in the natural things did not always look good. My mom’s friends would pray in a group text. You know what? I would read their prayers out loud because I felt they were coming from a place of confidence that was hard for me to live in. With time and God’s patience, I became more and more determined in my faith walk, more and more confident that my prayers matter to God. Their prayers reminded me of how to believe, how to pray and for some reason it really helped boost my faith! I still consider them my tribe…even though I had not met them all and sometimes did not even know who was on the group text.
I would read their prayers out loud because I felt they were coming from a place of confidence that was hard for me to live in.
There are times when I start praying and then realize I am praying out of habits- so I stop and change the way I pray. The fact that they were able to spend their time praying again and again and again from a place of confidence really aroused my curiosity. Who are these women of faith? Why do they pray this way?
Who are these women of faith?
As my faith grew, so did Oliver. Two and a half months in NICU in Lubbock and Ft. Worth, Texas. He went through congestive heart failure, pneumonia, and heart surgery (for three separate issues with his heart). Samuel and Celeste lived in Texas for a couple months to spend every day with Oliver. I am thankful that God provided Ronald McDonald House for them and that Samuel’s job bent over backwards for him to be with his family. I am so very thankful with all my heart that our prayers were answered!! Oliver is doing so much better! He is a miracle!
I am so very thankful with all my heart that our prayers were answered!
Oliver is doing so much better! He is a miracle!
God is so amazing!
Now this little man is thriving. He will be a year old in May 2019 and boy do we have so much to celebrate!!! My love for him grows so much and God uses my love for my children and Oliver to show me how much I am loved by God. You are too!
Food for thought:
What has happened in your life that had you praying from a place of fear?
Tonya Marie
Kingdom Chats 