It has been a long while since I’ve published a post. My sabbatical wasn’t ever supposed to be this long. Sometimes, we stretch ourselves so thin, and that’s exactly what I did. I also stepped away from my writing, although I can’t say that it was intentional.
It’s made me think, though. How often do we lose focus- we have a passion; something we say is important. I say writing is important to me. That it is part of who I am called to be. So why wasn’t I writing?
A million excuses come to mind and I realize that’s exactly what they are. No condemnation, no judgement, guilt, or shame. It is what it is and beating myself up about it isn’t healthy or productive. When I choose not to write, I’m suppressing myself… and not living in the now I want to create.
I simply apologized to God and apologized to myself and then…. I started writing. I’ve spent way too many years exploring why and judging myself and all it takes is a quick realization that all we have is now. So, I’m gracefully choosing what I’m doing now- with what aligns with my purpose, identity, goals, passions and dreams.
Staying in the now means choosing each moment to do the important. Sometimes, the important may be watching a movie. But most days, the day will consist of writing- because that’s what I’m driven to do. Just writing this makes me breathe easier.
The patio area at the Airbnb I stayed at on 43rd hosted by Robert & Julia in Seattle
For years, I have struggled with anxiety and just an overwhelming need to critique myself and find fault. It’s part of why writing was so challenging. I was often so worried what others would say think that I wouldn’t publish. Wouldn’t share my words because maybe they weren’t good enough.
Recently, I had some time with our Heavenly Daddy and He showed me a gentler way to see myself through His eyes- and showed me how much He loves my witting. He also reminded me that this scripture deals directly with anxiety and that when we focus on Him and good things it’s hard for anxiety to get a word in.
I will share this scripture with you- let me know how He speaks to you and what your thoughts are.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Philippians 4:8
My prayer for you today and for each of us is that we choose to walk hand in hand with our Creator in the NOW with full confidence and joy.
So what’s your passion? What are your dreams? What do you choose to do now and why? What’s your prayer?
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